Yesterday was my birthday. Many people have asked me what I did, what I got, that kind of stuff. Well I had the joy and honor to lead worship for The Way- the high school ministry at LCC. I can't think of a better present than getting to hold the door for 50-75 students as they enter in and worship their God.
Too often we as church leaders forget about the teenagers. I mean, we give them their own room and some furniture no one else wanted, and we let them have fun trips. We even give them great discipleship. But how often do we pour into them and teach them about worship?
Do you know what happens to teenagers that don't learn about worship? Look at your average church building on a Sunday- the room is full of adults who never learned what worship is- and view it as a singalong time before the sermon. As a time for someone on stage to pretend to be a rock star. And they miss out on just how vital worship is to our spiritual lives.
This isn't calling out anyone saying that they have done a poor job at that- not at all. This is just a way of me saying how blessed I was to be part of teaching these students a little bit.
Today's students are going to be adults very soon. And to see students begin to understand the idea of worship at this age, is incredible. I can't think of a better birthday present.
The past six months have been rough. Not going to lie. Rough. The last 12 months, in actuality- but the past 6 in a different way.
I have written about it in some sense-here, and here- and there are hints of it here. Writing about how God is there in the midst of pain, in the midst of struggle. I have talked a lot about the pain, struggles, darkness.
I have overlooked, in my writing at least, about the blessings.
I am incredibly blessed- pain and all. And much of it is because of the struggles.
God has led me to a place where I can volunteer and plug in to a church that is pouring back into me, to learn things that I wouldn't have had the chance to learn if I hadn't gone through what I did.
I have learned things that simply can't be learned through books, or classes, or through other people's stories. I have learned by going through the fires.
I have learned that I can truly believe the promises that God is there through it all. I have also learned that I don't have to wait until the situation arises to look for God's promise about it- but that I can prepare myself through His word.
I have been blessed with a wife who stands by me in thick and thin, a family who supports and believes in me, friends who love me like family, and a God who is refining me in the pain, who is shaping me to be more than I was, to see where I need Him more.
And that is truly blessed.
Happy Father's Day to the man who has had the largest influence on my life.
To the man who used to create treasure maps, bury loose change, and tell me the legend of Blackbeard's treasure in the sand at the beach to keep me entertained.
To the man who created some of the best birthday parties ever imagined- we have had a full recreation of Double Dare, a Star Wars Empire versus Rebellion lasertag battle, and plenty more! (having a youth minister who majored in recreation in college as a father has some massive perks!)
To the man who bought me my first dcTalk tape- spiralling me into a love of music, and influenced me into pursuing music.
To the man who taught me to stand up for myself, while always staying gentle.
To the man who fought has fought for me, who hurts when I hurt, who rejoices when I rejoice.
To the man who demonstrated what it means to be a husband and father like no other.
To the man who led me to Christ.
To the man who baptized me.
To the man who introduced me to my wife, and then married us.
To the man who showed me I wanted to dedicated my life into ministry since I was 6 (although it grew from just wanting to be like my dad to understanding ministry and wanting to do that based on the influence he lived)
To the man who preached my ordination service.
To the man who literally made me the man I am today.
Thank you.
I just finished listening to Louie Giglio's session from the Lift conference. A couple things hit home like a missile locked on.
For those who don't know- I am looking for a new position. I am volunteering at a nearby church, working under an amazing leader and learning a ton. And these words are what I needed to hear at this very moment.God will find you where you are..... God will raise you when He wants. As far as He wants. As fast as He wants. -Louie Giglio
I am an ordained minister (yes- technically my name is Reverend Josh Williams... I don't think I have ever typed that out...), and I am called by God to lead others in worship, I am a creative. And I was brought to this earth to do these things. In time.
Everything that has happened in my life so far has been in God's perfect plan. Despite any heartache, turmoil, joy, or unexpectedness- it was all for a purpose. God's purpose. And God's plan doesn't just end with me in the midst of a huge forest. I have been chosen by God, and He has a perfect plan.
I have to stop worrying that I need to be sending my resume to more people, make more contacts, that I need to network more. Yes- networking gets you jobs. But you see, when we try to take the pen from the Storyteller- when we try to write our own story- we worry that we will miss the opportunity.
God is the Storyteller. And He isn't going to let us miss something that is part of our plan.
From time to time, I will think of "career moves". You know what I mean- the "should I be a volunteer here at blank church, or a leader over here at blank church" thoughts. "Which one will take me farther?" These are the WRONG questions. I don't capitalize much, so take this to heart- GOD WILL FIND YOU.
God will find me. It doesn't matter where I am at- if God wants to move me He will.
What He requires of me is that I give every ounce of my being to wherever it is that I am. Whether a volunteer- the leader- a person in the congregation- God wants my all.
God has a plan for me. And in time, He will bring me the next step. But for now, and I say this will all sincerity- there is nowhere else I would rather be.
I write this for myself. But I also write this for any one who is going through something similar. Take heart- you won't be in a slump forever.
I saw this video on Gospel Coalition today, and felt the need to share it. A healthy marriage goes beyond emotions, feelings, and definitely convenience. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage sustains your love."
Emotions and feelings change almost day to day, but the promise made before (and to, and with) God and man remains true.
I think, in my limited opinion, that every married couple, and anyone who plans to ever be married, to watch this.
How far are you willing to go?
For a stranger?
For a neighbor?
For a friend?
For a brother?
The hard reality is that every answer should be the same.
She didn't see it coming. She knew it would happen eventually, but the precise moment in time was lost to her. It was a cold night on December 30, 2009, and they were on their way to see Wizard of Oz on stage. But the play was the least important event of the night. The least life changing.
He picked her up and opened her door for her. When he got in, she complained about it being cold, and reached for his coat in the backseat. "No!" He grabbed the jacket from her. "It's mine."
He put the coat back in the backseat, and smiled at her with a small laugh. "I'm sorry- but I might need it later."
They had dinner at Red Lobster. She ordered shrimp, and he nervously choked down some biscuits.
They arrived at the parking garage, and walked across the Reedy River to the Peace Center. As they walked they held hands. Beside the fountain, over the bridge. She noticed his eyes were more focused on the surroundings than on her.
"I'm still cold." She said, smiling up at him, her eyes saying so much more than her voice.
He put his arm around her, holding her close. They made their way into the Peace Center, and up to the ticket counter.
There was an old, kind woman behind the counter. "There are twenty minutes until the doors open, dear."
She smiled at the couple, studied their faces, and said, "But you can walk around for a while."
The couple went upstairs and to a hallway overlooking downtown Greenville and the Reedy River.
He wrapped his arms around her, like a bear, as they stared out over the city.
And everything seemed perfect.
But then the fire alarm went off, and the couple was evacuated to the outside patio along with the other patrons waiting to watch the play.
"I'm cold," she said, looking up at him with eyes he could not deny.
He looked around for a second, and took off his coat. She noticed there were several people staring at him as he gave her his coat.
The play began, and ended, in what seemed like a second. And before they knew it, they were walking back to their car across the river.
Holding hands, they made their way down the stairs, as he looked at her, and nervously said, "You know that I love you, right?"
She laughed, "of course, silly."
"Good." He said, staring straight ahead. She could tell he was nervous about something.
They made their way over the bridge. He stopped her mid-way.
"You know that your my best friend, right?"
She laughed less this time, but still smiled, "Yes."
Again, he looked straight ahead, looking for words.
"Good."
They started walking past the fountain, and could see their car up ahead. His hands were sweaty in hers.
"Let's sit down here for a minute." He said, voice shaking. "It's pretty tonight."
He took a deep breath.
Her heart pounded.
He stared at her in a way he had never stared at her before.
In what seemed like a nanosecond, he moved from sitting on the bench, to down on his knee in front of her.
She laughed, "What are you doing?"
He looked up at her, hands shaking as he reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a small red box.
He had words he wanted to say- a speech, a sonnet. But all he could muster up was, "Dorothy Lee Nowak, will you marry me?"
"Of course I will!" She smiled brighter than she ever had before, as she watched the ring slide onto her finger.
Just then, a little girl and her grandmother walked by.
"Look Grandma! Their kissing. Ewww!"
"Honey, be quiet, this is a sweet moment, not a gross moment."
He looked into his new fiancées eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you my coat earlier. I didn't want you to find it. A couple of people did see it when I had to move it into my pants pocket. I was scared you'd notice that."
Their lives changed that night. Nothing was the same as it was when they arrived. And she never saw it coming.
Pete Wilson, or better known to me as "The pastor who often blogs the things I wanted to write about 12 hours before me and 10,000x better than I could", wrote about love today in a post entitled Looking for Love.
In it, he raises two points:
1) We crave love. and
2) We're quite sure that all love has stipulations and conditions.
He then uses Romans 3 to show how God's love contradicts that second point. That God loves unconditionally.
I read a book once, that really spoke to me: Soul Cravings, by Erwin McManus. McManus says that we, as humans, crave three things: intimacy, destiny, and meaning. He says in it that these three things are essential to human life. Not just life in Christ, not "good life", but essential to life itself.
We crave love. We have to have it. It is a drug stronger than heroin, more addicting than nicotine, and can be more damaging than crystal meth. We got hooked the moment we were born.
God created us this way- he created us to love, to be loved, to search for love. We weren't meant to go through life alone. Now, love doesn't mean romanticized, mushy, "I love you, you love me" kind of love. It can, but love at its purest just means belonging, at least to me.
C.S. Lewis wrote on the four loves, stating that there are, basically, four types of love: Storge (Affection), Phileo (Friendship), Eros (Romance), and Agape (Unconditional Love). We may not crave eros, romantical, love. We might not even crave phileo love, but we all crave storge love. We all crave affection.
Storge love is, as Lewis put it, "built-in", meaning that we come hardwired with the capability to show affection. All the other loves require learning what it means to love in that way, but affection is something we know how to do from the beginning.
Just look on playgrounds- there are children who have never met, but playing together with courtesy. We were created to love and be loved, because a life without love is not a life at all.
We have to have it. Some people turn to friends, others to the opposite sex, and sadly, others will turn to abusive and harmful relationships. But the thing we must realize as we deal with this built-in desire for love is the person who created us with that love is loving us without any stipulations, strings, or conditions. God loves us, individually, and desires our love as well. This love between God and man is what falls under Agape love, the strongest of loves. The kind of love that sends a son to die painfully and humiliatingly for the sake of the enemy. You won't find that anywhere else.
Erwin McManus wrote, "To give up on love is to choose a life that is less than human. To give up on love is to give up on life."
David Platt offers his opinion on the whole Universalism debate floating around via Rob Bell. I have to say, he hits it dead on the mark!
In school as a Christian Ministry major, I learned how to argue. But I didn't necessarily always enjoy it. I thought many times "What does it matter?!?" This is what Platt is saying. But whereas I was saying it because I was lazy and not wanting to argue, Platt is saying "We don't have time to argue- there are people dying and going to Hell!"
This will shake you up.
"A guy can change anything: his face, his home, his family, his girlfriend, his religion, his God. Bu there's one thing he can't change; he can't change his passion." -The Secret In Their Eyes
We all have passions. We might not know that they are- but we have them. That thing inside of us that drives us forward. The thing that no matter what, we feel like we can trust.
The quote I used makes me think- can a man really not change his passions? Are they engraved in us at birth? Specifically thinking- man, by design, is selfish and evil. So how can we say things like "He has a passion for missions" or "He has a passion for sharing the Gospel"?
I propose the following: man cannot change his passion any more than he can change the location of his nose to the side of his arm. No, man cannot change his passions, he can only develop passions as he lives his life. But God, now that is another story. Phenomenal things can happen to passion when God gets involved.
I have always loved music, but it wasn't until I was 17 years old that I even owned an instrument. The passion I had for music, that was engraved in me- took over, and I taught myself guitar in less than a year. It was the first time I truly understood what the word passion could mean. could feel like. From there, God took my passion (the passion He gave me from the start), and developed it into a passion for worship.
My passion is music. Nothing I can do will ever change that. I can stop playing music, but my passion will still find ways to thrive. The only way my passion for music can change is through God. And I have seen God take that passion and grow it into something spectacular. (I say spectacular not in reflection of me, but in the power and awesomeness of God).
The key, and the problem that many people have- is turning their passions over to God. He is going to do what he pleases, and it is always so much easier on us when we are willing! Kurt Cobain told his mother shortly after learning guitar that if he ever lost a finger or lost the physical ability to play guitar that he would kill himself. He found his meaning in his music. We have to realize that our passions are gifts from God. We are to cherish them, yet allow God to work in and through them as He desires.
What are your passions? How can God use your passions, and how will you let him?
I've been reading Erwin McManus' book "Chasing Daylight" for... well... for a while. I find myself starting over frequently.
But something I read in it stuck with me. He wrote, "When you are passionate about God, you can trust your passions. God uses our passions as a compass to guide us. To put it crassly, when you are madly in love with God, you can do whatever you want."
At first, obviously, that sounds odd. But look at Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
So do you want to do whatever you want? Are you tired of having to suppress what you want in order to please God? We have found the way! All you have to do is align yourself 100% with God.
The reason you can do whatever you want is because everything you want is God.
That is something I have heard for years, but never really heard. People would always say "You have to give God 100% of your heart. You can't tell him a room is off limits" or something similar.
The problem with these is this: all it talks about is giving up stuff you love. It focuses on the negative. No one ever told me that when I give my entire being over to God, when I love God with everything I am- I can do what I want because what I want is to please God.
This is no easy task. Anyone who has ever tried to be perfect can tell you- its hard to let go of the worldly things we love. It is a lifelong battle to kick these worldly loves out of our souls and guarding our hearts from them, but it is a reward worth fighting for- a reward of righteousness. A reward of our hearts and minds being aligned with God's.
I am guilty of this just as much as the next person. Far too often I find myself entertaining worldly ideas or thinking selfishly, instead of focusing my life on glorifying my Lord. But you have to start from somewhere, and I say we take this road together.
Yesterday, me and Dorothy visited another church with some friends. The sermon was on couples: dating, marriage, ect. Our small group last night with Capstone was on marriage as well. Let's just say it got me thinking a lot.
In America, dating and marriage is built around romance, while it isn't so everywhere. Yet American Christians have a 50% chance of divorce. Arranged marriages have a much lower rate of divorce. Why is this? And for the married people in the room- how do we avoid being part of this tragic statistic. [Note: This post is not about divorce, or fixing marriages.]
Too often here in America- we view dating as a place to display romance and affection. Then when the relationship is over, we break up and stop talking. All ties are cut because everything the couple had in common is now over.
When me and Dorothy first met, we were just friends. Our friendship grew for three years, and we became very close in those three years. There were few secrets the other person didn't know. Out of that friendship our dating relationship grew. I believe that is why we stayed together those years we were dating, even though we 'took a break' 3 times. Friendship was our foundation. If you knew us during those breakups, you know that we still spent time together, we were still close friends.
In our marriage, friendship is still a key part of it, and it always will be.
Pete Wilson recently published a post entitled, "How To Stay In Love." In it he talks about America's obsession with falling in love. In falling in love with romance. We rush past crucial stages in relationships in order to satisfy our physical needs. This isn't love. It is selfish.
Erwin McManus once said, "To want to take is not romantic. To long to give, now, that's romantic."
Our God has brought life into our reach
Victory into our hands
For His love knows no boundaries
His grace knows no fear
He has rescued us, He has set us free
He has taken down our enemy
He has chosen to bring us into His family
So rejoice, all those of the Most High
Proclaim His goodness for the world to hear
Sound your trumpets, and lift your voice, O Chosen People
For today we have been called by the King.
Just in case you are curious, here is a listen at one of the new songs I wrote that I really like.
I have been told by many people that the local news is incredibly depressing. This is true. I have heard people, very recently, talk about how it is horrible that all the news talks about is bad stuff. 'Why don't they show good stuff?'
I have to say, the story of how I met my wife is a good one. The year: 2001. Location: The Pavilion Ice Skating Rink in Greenville, SC.
Rocky Creek Baptist Church's youth and children's pastor had scheduled a skate night for the children. I wanted to go with my little sister and dad, so I did. My friend Tyler showed up, believing it to be a youth function. I knew everyone there, everyone but two sisters: Connie, who was in elementary school and Dorothy, who was my age.
When we got onto the ice rink I noticed that my dad was skating with this very pretty girl. She was teaching my dad how to skate backwards. Dad had resigned from youth pastor about 8 months prior to this, so he was still in prime "relating to teenagers" mode. At some point before I saw them together, he had realized that these sisters didn't know anyone, and he befriended the older. Anyway- she was teaching my dad how to skate backward.
I remember the moment that I saw her- I remember most of that moment, except what I was doing. It was as if I was completely out of the moment, simply an audience to her existence. She was wearing a black blouse with a red floral pattern on it, smiling and laughing as my dad comically tried to skate in reverse. But alas, I was transparent. I continued skating with my friends, but now aware that a cute girl was in the vicinity.
On the ride back, I was sitting with Tyler in the middle of the bus. The seat that would later become "Dorothy and my seat". Dorothy was sitting in the back, with my dad, who was getting to know his skating partner. I remember being quiet so I could hear what she was saying, and I learned her family had recently moved from Houston, Texas, and that she was in 7th grade. My dad asked her "What school do you go to?" Dad: thank you for asking that question. She responded, "Hillcrest Middle School."
"O, really? My son goes there!" My dad responded. "Josh!"
I turned around, pretending that I had not been listening to their conversation, and at the same time trying to pretend that I was the coolest person in the world.
"What, Dad?"
"I want you to meet someone- this is Dorothy.... Nowak? Did I get that right?" He re-affirmed her name, and when she nodded, he turned to me.
"She just moved here from Houston, and she goes to your school. She is also in 7th grade."
"O, cool. It's nice to meet you." I responded in a way that can only be classified as the awkardness of 12yr old boy. I smiled, waved, and turned back around.
Later that night, my dad and I told my mom about this girl we had met. Me, my dad, and a few friends had started a Bible study at Hillcrest Middle the year before called "Blaze." My dad suggested inviting her to it the next day at church, to which I agreed.
Now, I am a shy person, but back then- I was 10x worse. I didn't want you to know I got excited about anything. But that next morning at Sunday service, my dad handed me a brochure for Blaze and reminded me to invite her.
"Can't you do it, Dad?" I asked, focusing only on what this girl would think of me, not even thinking she would remember me.
"No, it would mean a lot to her if you did." Again, Dad: thank you!
"Okay"
I looked for her, and I saw her and her family walking out of the church. I psyched myself up (somehow), and ran after her, yelling "Dorothy!" (I am convinced to this day that someone else had taken control of my body at that moment in time)
She turned around, and her family stopped in the aisle.
Now somewhat out of breath because of the adrenaline and sprinting and yelling, I said,
"Here's an invitation to that Blaze thing we told you about yesterday." I got the chance to talk to her, but I still had to play it cool.
Well, luckily she came to Blaze, regardless of the pathetic invitation she got. We became friends, which turned into best friends. And all the while I thought, "Man, this girl is cute." And all the while, she never noticed. If you have ever seen a teen movie, I was the quintessential "best friend in love with the girl."
Eventually, she realized my feelings for her, and her feelings for me grew. But that's a story for another day.
I have been a Jimmy Needham fan for quite a while. And I have always loved this song (it is my ringtone for when my bride calls). The reason I love this song is because it is smack in the middle of a worship album. The reason I like that it is in the middle of a worship album is because marriage is a form of worship. By having a loving marriage, we live as an example of Christ and His church.
I have heard the following story each year from a tape my grandfather plays us at Christmas. It is from the late Paul Harvey. It is still incredibly powerful on why God came to earth.
The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a scrooge, he was a kind decent, mostly good man. Generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that incarnation stuff which the churches proclaim at Christmas Time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus Story, about God coming to Earth as a man.
"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but that he would wait up for them. And so he stayed and they went to the midnight service.
Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then went back to his fireside chair and began to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound...Then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud...At first he thought someone must be throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large landscape window.
Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them...He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms...Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.
And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me...That I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Because any move he made tended to frighten them, confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.
"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to safe, warm...to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them so they could see, and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells - Adeste Fidelis - listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.
It is funny, Papa each year has us sit down after Christmas, and after he half-jokes that we care more about presents, he pulls out his tape deck and a tape that has been played countless times. And out pours Paul Harvey's voice. I can quote this story, and many times when he plays the tape, we all breath a sigh and my mom says "be nice and listen." But strangely, the story always moves me.
The story is simple, yes. But it is also not cheesy. After the first year, I couldn't stand the song "Christmas Shoes". Nothing against Newsong, but it is the quintessential cheesy Christmas song about charity. And sometimes we focus too much on charity at Christmas time.
Yep, I said it: we focus too much on charity at Christmas time and not enough on the birth of Christ. That isn't to say we shouldn't do charity, we completely should. But how often do we connect Christmas with buying shoes for a poor kid with a dying mom instead of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
As this Christmas season officially opens, I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, and remember who it is we are celebrating.
I went to a Christmas play last night. And, like many Christmas plays, dozens upon dozens of shepherds come to worship baby Jesus, along with 3 Kings who come later. In every telling of the Christmas story I've ever heard or seen, the shepherds always knew exactly where to go, and walked straight in worshiping.
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