Something greater

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a rockstar.  I grew up listening to dcTalk, and would sing along with their albums in my room, pretending to be in front of thousands of people.  This wasn't like most kids dreams of rocking out- I was determined.

Then, when I first started writing songs and playing guitar, that dream popped up again. I was convinced I was God's gift to music and would book 'gigs' in coffee houses around Anderson.  To put it simply, I was conceited and somewhat of a jerk when it came to music.  And to anyone who got a bad taste in their mouths from meeting me then- I'm very sorry.  I hope we can start a new relationship not built around my ego.

But something changed in me.  Around my junior year of college, God grabbed a hold of me.  You see, this 'gift' that I was using for my own benefit, was God's.  And it was given to me for a reason, which was not to be a rock star.

I felt God calling me to worship ministry- to lead a group of Christian into the Throne room of God.  And he shifted my focus from national reach to serving the local Church.

Now- there are people out there who are serving God by writing songs that reach millions of people. Being a 'rock star' in Christian music could be God's will for someone.  But that someone wasn't me.

I was called to something greater: a chance to interact, to serve, a group of Christians, pouring into them and ushering them before our God.  A chance to be a servant.

This doesn't mean I don't enjoy "rockin' it out" on stage, but as a servant of Christ, I want all the glory and attention to go to him, not me or anyone on the stage.

I have heard worship leaders called "failed rock stars".  While yes, I did not succeed as a rock star, I do not position myself with this title.  Because I think being able to hold the door for those going into the Throne Room is a much greater honor than any fame could bring.