What Happened?

Yesterday my grandmother, Mama (AKA Esther Owens Holmes), died. She was diagnosed with ALS (or Lew Gehrig's disease) about a year ago. Looking back over this past year- knowing the whole time that there was no cure available for Mama, I have really grieved.
I try to think why, and the only thing that I can come up with is that the woman who died yesterday was not my grandmother. Biologically yes, she was, and is. But the woman who I call Mama couldn't let a phone ring more than once, never met a stranger, talked constantly, and was completely joyful and energetic. The woman I saw a few weeks ago lying in bed was the complete opposite.
Being at school all last year, I feel that its as if someone switched places with Mama, and just laid there. The grandmother who raised me, sadly enough, died awhile back. I have tried to substitute the ALS-ridden woman for Mama, but now I cannot.

The pain that I witnessed Mama go through over this year makes me see how strong she truly is. I say is because her strength isn't gone, and the being that made her strong isn't either. She lost the ability to talk and walk within the same few months, which was devastating for everyone.

Mama loved to talk. Let me explain: I can remember a trip to the beach where my sister and I fell asleep. Mama woke me up to tell me she bought her pants from JC Penny. Talking was how she connected with others, and no matter how bad your day was, listening to her was great. She could also manipulate people well. I heard of my aunt getting a speeding ticket in Mama's driveway one time, because my cousin was crying loudly and distracting Aunt Sally. Mama told the officer very strictly "You will NOT give this woman a ticket for being a mother. You will leave her alone" She was not mean about it, did not yell, but just had that quality about her.

I will forever miss my time with Mama here on this earth, regret not spending as much with her, but I will get to see her again. She has already claimed the job as phone operator, my family is sure of that!

Life isn't over. One life is over on this earth, but that does not mean that my life, my mother's life, my sister's life, or even my grandfather's- who was been married for Mama for 60 years next month- is over. The thing I will leave you with, is a quote from one of my favorite books "Between A Rock and A Hard Place" by Aaron Ralston (who was stuck with his arm underneath a boulder in Blue John Canyon, had to amputate it himself).

"Life moves on for the living."