How To Point Out The Food In Your Friend's Girlfriend's Teeth.

This is a delicate art.  Especially when you just met them.  Luckily it hasn't happened to me.  Un-lucky for me, my mind decided last week that it would imagine what would happen if I was in this situation.  Yep.

Maybe this has happened to you- you have dinner with your friend to meet his new girlfriend, and after dinner, she has something stuck in her teeth while you are talking.  How do you bring it up without ruining your first impression?

Part One: Target Acquired.
1. You wait for your friend to notice it.  It is his girlfriend.

2. He doesn't notice. He instead goes to the bathroom, leaving you alone with her and her food-braces.

Part Two: Operation Expedition
3. Scratch your own tooth.  Maybe she will pick up on the hint.  Or better yet, maybe teeth scratching is like yawning, contagious.  Maybe she will scratch her tooth and never realize. Nope.

4.  Start smiling really big, in hopes that she will notice.  Nope.
   4.a- You realize you look extremely creepy.  Gary Busy creepy. Stop smiling like the dentist is using those gross tongs to pull your lips back.

5. Pull out your camera.  Say "Hey- let's take a picture together." Smile.  Then give her the camera and say "is that okay?" *Make sure the resident on 31 Molar Street is visible.

6. Pull out your tooth scraper (that is the proper dental term. Look it up.)  Subtly reach out and scrap her teeth.

   6.a If you are for some reason unable to pull this off subtly, maybe say something like "You know what makes a dinner complete for me? A nice dental check up.  Let me show you, I'm kind of a dental enthusiast."

7. "Conveniently" walk past a dentist office.  Challenge everyone to a "cavity-off."

Part Three: Giving Up
8. You have just been bested by a piece of food.  Guaranteed.  Either that or you have permanently been branded as being "blatantly" and/ or "brutally" honest.  Your friend will probably apologize for you later.  Unless you are a female talking to a female- then its okay.

9. The best plan, is once you see the food in your friend's girlfriend's teeth- cut ties and excuse yourself from the meal, move to Idaho, and begin a new life as "Clarence Sullivan."

Good luck.  You'll need it.