Dreams

Been lying in bed for 2 hours, took a sleeping pill, and was exhausted.  Couldn't sleep.  I don't have 'insomnia' in the 'haven't slept in days' way.  Not like fight club.  

I watched Inception, which obviously got me thinking about dreams. Not if they are real or not.  But on the fact that I never have cool dreams like that.  I have never dreamt that I was a superhero, or possessed magical powers, or that I was kidnapped.  Well, maybe I have, but I never remember them.  Which is common, but I feel like I should have at least a few I remember.  I have one from my life.

In the dream, I could fly.  But not the superman fly, more as if the air was water.  I could jump in the air, and push the air behind me as if I were pushing myself through a crowd.  

But I know why I don't dream when I sleep, and why I don't 'enjoy' sleeping.  I like feeling refreshed, but sleeping is just me being unconscious.  

I am  creative.  Because of this, I'm a daydreamer.  I can see faces in patterns on fabric and create elaborate stories about their lives in a split second.  Not that I try, but just that it happens.

So because I dream in the real world, I don't want to in my sleep.  I control my dreams here- I can be as involved as I want to be, I can see it all play out in my head.  And I can remember it. I can write it.  I can live it.

Right now I'm exhausted, but I'd rather dream while I'm awake than while I'm asleep, letting my subconscious take over.  Yet I'm artistic

 There's a reason artistic and autistic are only one letter apart.  The similarities are there, trust me.  I am no autistic expert, but both are 'lost in their own thoughts', seeing things from a different point of view.

So, doctors of the world- find a cure for sleep.  Not necessarily something that puts me to sleep, but something that makes me not need sleep.  People like me need it.  

So yes, this is a bit 'random', 'babbling', 'unorganized'.  

I wish I were sleeping, I'd rather be up writing, creating.

But I want to be rested.