Learning

I am two months into my internship, almost to the day. I am so blessed to be in this position, under a great mentor and friend. I have learned a ton in these two months, most notably in the past week.

The band was leading worship for youth at a church in NC, and let's just say everything that could go wrong, did. I don't mean the way most people say that, and it's like "i didn't remember the words and the kids didn't seem involved." I mean everything.

That was the worst part. The week before, the speaker at the youth group spoke on worshiping always, in every situation. That really spoke to me, and I was eager to start that. I didn't even make it a week. In the midst of these problems Wednesday, I prayed that God would take the focus off of me. Well he did- I ended up pretending to play rhythm electric guitar because I wasn't using any effects and it went out of tune, and singing through a mic that sounded like a walkie talkie going through a drivethru. The focus was definitely off me. All of that just fueled my belief that I had blown any chance of worship of anyone in the room.

I have learned so much from that instance right there about my life and my worship. God was testing my commitment from the week before, when I said "I will worship you in all situations", and I failed the biggest when I was leading worship. I realized that even though I was technically "leading worship", I wasn't doing either- leading or worshiping. Instead I acting like a spoiled child because things weren't going my way. Even worse- an hour before the service one of the guys working there told me that I was unlike many worship leaders he had met because I was laid back and not prideful. Wow.

That was definitely a learning experience- you have to have a heart check before you even pick up your guitar to practice. Every step of the planning process is part of leading worship, and every part needs to be focused on glorifying God, not just the part on stage.