This jungle was warm and green, teeming with wildlife native to the area. I know not where I was, but I was not lost. I was finding. Finding myself in conjunction with nature. A monkey's shrill call rings nearby, and a nest of birds is disturbed behind me. I must continue going north, so I look at my wrist, at my compass watch wrapped in brown italian leather. It had saved space in packing, and saved me countless times already. The leather band was thick and worn, and fit gloriously.
It told me I was facing due east, so I turned 90 degrees left. I hear water, and soon discover a 100 foot waterfall before me. i can see a cave behind, and given the night quickly coming, make camp there. My lantern lights up the cave and reflects wonderfully against the water wall that seperated me from the outside world. I dim the flame and lay my head upond my pack and drift to sleep to the sound of falling water.

The snow fals lightly on the ground, lining the grass and pavement with a thin layer of powder. I wrap up for the cold before exiting my warm lair. My coat, black wool, warms my chest nicely. I put on my thick, wool, scarf and wrap it twice around my neck, letting the excess fall and follow behind me like a shadow. I open the door, and step into the cold. With my scarf and coat I feel no wind, except that against my face. My scarf now blows behind me, leaving a white trail of where I've been. My feet guide he path towards my destination.

The Wild West has been attacked for not being as wild as previously thought. Today was on that could not prove this.
I entered the saloon, letting the doors swing closed. The music is loud and fast, and the men are drunk.
The wind was blowing hard outside. The dust was blowing, but inside the saloon it was peaceful. I take off my duster, which covers me neck to calf, and shake it off. It kept me very comfortable- warm yet cool. The duster, so perfectly picturesque, was made of quality leather, and available in many sounds.

so I just got back from Meltdown 2009. Let me tell you, God moved. We took about 90 kids, from grades 6-12. The theme of the weekend was Living the Christ life. We had about 5 sessions, and a concert from 33 Miles (eh...).
I am incredibly tired, I am apparently getting old. I slept a decent amount, more than most people there.
We didn't have any salvations in our group, but I witnessed the majority of my youth truly worship God. To look across the crowd and see a huge group of students with hands raised high, minds on Christ, and a passion to worship; it was incredible. I am so proud of them.
Johnathan Elrod did the worship, as always, and as always he was incredible. Elrod is probably the most effective traveling worship leader in the state of South Carolina. By effective I do not mean he gets people to worship, or that he gets people to commit to salvations, but that he has a true, honest passion for youth and worship.

It was amazing to witness this, and I wish we didn't have to come back so that I would worship God in watching the kids worship God.

I am walking alone, on a cold, dark night. The air is firm and assertive. I pass by a man sleeping in a box covered in graffiti. He smells like alcohol.
I envision myself walking the streets of Rio de Janeiro, mingling with the locals as I carelessly make my way to an unknown place. Where did this feeling come from? I trace the source of this joy to my feet. To my warm, yet tropical walking shoes. The added stability and cushion provides the feeling of utter bliss.
And so I continue walking down this cold, dark street, aware yet carefee of the odor. It will have to bother me another day.

so I have been trying to stay on top of my reading lately (not necessarily the school readings). I just finished Soul Cravings, by Erwin McManus. Amazing stuff there: I would highly recommend it for anyone who is trying to define themselves.

Soul Cravings helps you see the four things your soul craves: Love, Destiny, Meaning, and Seeking. It is an easy read, and is extremely compelling.

Basically the bottom line is this: our souls (my soul, your soul, your neighbor's soul, everyone's soul) is searching for something to fill the emptiness. Some have found it, others still search. Some have tried to fill it with drugs, sex, money, alcohol; some try to fill it with religion; still others decide to simply ignore their cravings and float through life. But, to put it simply, that is putting a cylinder in a square hole.

You remember that toddler toy, right? You have shapes and have to put them in the right hole. But if you tried hard enough- you could smash the cylinder through the square hole, as well as other shapes if you tried hard enough. But was the object of the game to get the shapes in the box? No. The object of the game was to put the shapes in the right holes.

Unfortunately, this is not something anyone can do for you. No one can hold your hand through life, making your decisions. Again to the toy analogy: everyone has seen the child trying to put the square in the circle hole and thought, "This kid is an idiot, he has been trying with that same hole for about an hour." (Maybe idiot is too strong of a word, but the point is that they can see what you can't- that the stinkin' shape doesn't fit the hole. They can see that because at one time or another, they were there too, trying to fit a square in a triangle hole or something like that.

Your soul, we will say is this toy; except there is only one hole (and for Sunday School and nostalgia purposes, we will use a cross). This cross hole in the middle of your soul begins to bug you, so you try to fill it with drugs (a square). It might fill part of the hole, but there is still a large chunk missing, so you fill it with alcohol (triangle). Still large chunks- get the picture?

The only thing that will fill your soul is God. This is not a strange coincidence, and not something cooked up by religious freaks in order to get your money. God created your soul. He created it to search for Him. But He also gave us free will, because God wants us to want Him. And so we search, and we mess up, and we get hurt, and we, hopefully, realize the idiocracy of trying to fill the hole ourselves, and run to God.

You have probably heard this in some way before- maybe even in this way. But I pray that if you are trying to fill your soul with squares and circles and triangles, that you will see your mistakes. I saw mine. I saw how stupid I was to try to quench the cravings of my soul with things of this world. Your soul=not of this world, so why try to fill it with things of this world.

the road grew tired on his old running shoes. two miles had gone by, and sweat now stained his already darkened shirt. he stopped at the corner, put his hands on his head, and looked around him. he had ran to try to escape. to escape and possibly, just possibly, take a look back at the prison and figure out how he was incarcerated.

but there were no floodlights searching for him, no prison dogs on the hunt. it was just him, a lonely person stuck between the doors of childhood and manhood, breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

four little words had changed his entire life. he instantly is drawn back to that night. the two of them were walking, him nervous and her nonchalant and happy. he sat her down on a bench by a fountain marked "caution: no lifeguard on duty." he had always questioned the need for such a sign. he was convinced that if a person needed a sign telling them to be cautious in a fountain then they deserve what comes to them.

he sat her down, and sat beside her. an eloquent speech was prepared earlier, but the words were jumbled, as if he was catching them from a centrifuge. he gave up on the speech, and knelt on the ground. he meekly formed the words, "will you marry me?" what followed was incredible joy, and the beginnings of a new life.

but what did this life hold? the ridiculousness of his previous dreams became clear: the life he wanted as a child wouldn't become.

he began to run once again- his thoughts had caught up with him. he ran faster than his normal pace, panting yet determined to make it to safety. he was always one to over-think, over-analyze, and under-plan. he could not let himself over-think this.

it wasn't that he was unhappy with his life's outcome- he was thrilled. but sometimes the best things in life are the most feared. a single man can fail at something and still survive, but a man cannot fail his family.

he will not fail his family. he will continue running until he had destroyed all doubt in his body.
he turned a corner, and began the long stretch on a road, ironically marked "Destiny".

sorry for not posting in a while, well, a few days. its been real hectic lately, moving back in to school and whatnot. but I'm engaged to my best friend. yay!

the sounds of the cars were drowned out by the rhythm of your heart.
pounding in, beating out, the noise filled the air and rose like heat in the night.
it was our song- the song in your heart. i knew the chorus all too well, the sound of passion matching reality.
it was the soundtrack to my soul, my ears resting well within range of the beat.

but we were young and incomplete. the rules of love and war had not shown us the fervor in which we should fight for our love.
and despite our ignorance, it was the time of our life.